Baarmy Army
TACTICAL COMMAND ONLINE
·RETROSHEEP.COM
·HANDMADE IN WALES
·BLACKWOOD, SOUTH WALES
·EST. 2006
ALERT
■ The Official Anthem
NEW RELEASE — 16 MARCH 2026
Rollin' with the Baarmy
The official theme song of the Baarmy Army Sheep Soldiers. Bold, bouncy, full of attitude — dripping with Retrosheep energy. The soundtrack to a squad of gloriously unhinged Welsh sheep soldiers rolling out on a mission.
THE FLOCK HAS ITS ANTHEM. Every army needs a theme. Every movement needs a soundtrack. Every squad of misfit woolly Welsh soldier sheep needs a banger they can blast on the march — helmets on, tails wagging, hooves thundering across the rolling hills of South Wales in perfect chaotic formation. That track is now here. Rollin' with the Baarmy captures the spirit of this whole magnificent, ridiculous, brilliant universe in music form — the kind of track that immediately makes you feel like you're part of something. It has energy, bounce, and attitude, with that underlying warmth that runs through everything in the Retrosheep world. The sense that this is a place where the misfits, the underdogs, and the people who don't quite fit the standard mould are not just tolerated — but actively celebrated.
■ Official Video
■ Battle Map of Wales — Tactical Overview
[ SELECT ANY REGION ON THE MAP TO ACCESS TACTICAL INTEL ]
[ CLOSE ]
■ Soldier Dossiers
Commander General
Baa-tholomew
■ Conwy, North Wales
AKA Baarney. The wise elder — been in the army for decades, seen it all. Always ready with sage advice. Knows what's coming before it arrives, and has a plan for it.
Command
Strategic Director
Baa-tilda
■ Snowdonia
A skilled strategist — always one step ahead of the enemy. The brains behind the operation, working out angles nobody else has considered.
Command
Strike Leader
Rambo
■ Brecon Beacons
Tough, fearless, always first over the ridge. Leads the charge with unwavering courage and absolutely no hesitation. Named appropriately. Does not knit.
Combat
Heavy Assault
Mutton
■ Black Mountains
The muscle. From the rugged hills of the Black Mountains. Specialises in hand-to-hand combat. The one you want standing between you and whatever is coming over that hill. Built differently.
Combat
Defensive Captain
Dolly
■ Brecon Beacons
Brave, tenacious, never backs down from a challenge. Became a soldier after defending her flock from a pack of wolves and has been fighting with fierce determination ever since. Do not underestimate Dolly.
Combat
Chief Analyst
Sheepra
■ Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Anglesey
Always has a plan. Always has a solution. Joined after her flock was attacked by wolves and she realised she needed to learn to defend herself — and everyone else.
Intel
Lead Investigator
Shearlock
■ Caernarfon
The resident detective. Sharp, observant, always on the lookout for clues. Solves the mysteries, uncovers the hidden information, and figures out what everyone else has missed. Shearlock sees everything.
Intel
Field Problem Solver
Fleece
■ Cardiff
The clever and resourceful one, straight out of Cardiff. The problem-solver of the unit — the sheep you want next to you when things go sideways and you need someone who can think on four hooves under pressure.
Intel
Chief Scout
Wooled
■ Llangollen
The fastest and most agile member of the Baarmy Army. By the time you know Wooled has been past, Wooled is already three fields away and filing the report.
Recon
Stealth Specialist
Baashful
■ Carmarthenshire
The shy, introverted one who prefers to stay in the background — but quietly, consistently one of the most valuable members of the team. You don't always see Baashful coming. That's entirely the point.
Recon
Sharpshooter
Welly
■ Isle of Anglesey
A sharpshooter with a steady hand and a keen eye. Joined after winning a local shooting competition at the fair. The one you want watching your flank. No one gets away from Welly.
Recon
Quartermaster
Woolbert
■ Snowdonia
The friendly heart of the squad. From the rolling hills of Snowdonia. A talented woolsmith who makes woolen items for fellow soldiers. The kind of soldier who makes you a scarf before a winter campaign.
Support
Uniform Designer
Ewe-nique
■ Hay-on-Wye
The creative genius, operating from her studio in the bohemian town of Hay-on-Wye. Designs the uniforms and accessories for the whole team. The Baarmy Army looks good. That's Ewe-nique's doing.
Support
Morale Officer
Lambchop
■ Aberystwyth
The life and soul. From Aberystwyth, where he learned to surf. The energy that keeps the troops going when the going gets grim. Always motivated, always entertaining, always last to stop dancing after a successful mission.
Support
Public Speaker
Ewegene
■ Cardiff
Born in Cardiff, charismatic and outgoing, beloved by the entire regiment. Joined the army to see the world and make a difference. Uses charm and wit to rally the troops when it matters most.
Support
Coastal Defence
Baarney
■ Pembrokeshire
A gentle giant from the rugged coastline of Pembrokeshire. Compassionate, always puts others first. Became a soldier after rescuing a stranded hiker — never looked back. The squad's unofficial big brother.
Support
Nervous Recruit
Bleatsie
■ Monmouthshire
From the tranquil countryside of Monmouthshire. Panics at the slightest sound of danger — but pulls through every single time with the help of her comrades. Possibly the most relatable member of the entire squad.
Support■ The Chronicle
ERA I
The Age of Quiet Fields
Flocks lived in peace across Wales — Snowdonia, Brecon, Anglesey, Pembrokeshire. But predators lurked in the shadows of every mountain.
ERA II
The Bleating Dawn
Dolly defeated a wolf pack leader alone to protect her flock from the Brecon Beacons. Her bravery lit the spark that would forge a whole army.
ERA III
Founding of the Army
Baa-tholomew united the scattered flocks of Wales. Rambo, Woolbert, Shearlock, Mutton — the first soldiers answered the call from Conwy.
ERA IV
The Snowdonia Winter
A brutal winter nearly broke the army. Woolbert knitted wool armour for every single soldier. They survived. They grew stronger than ever.
ERA V
The Great Campaigns
Legendary battles across Wales. Wolves driven back from the mountains. Coasts defended. Operation Silent Meadow — a masterpiece of stealth.
ERA VII
The Modern Army
Still watching. Still protecting. Baa-tholomew trains new recruits in Conwy. The Baarmy Army guards every flock, field and hill in Wales.
■ Key Battles & Campaigns
Battle of the Brecon HillsLed by Rambo and Mutton — wolves driven from the mountains for good. The defining battle of the early army.
The Snowdonia WinterWoolbert's wool armour saved the entire army. Without him, there would be no Baarmy Army today.
Operation Silent MeadowBaashful and Shearlock infiltrate enemy dens completely undetected. The greatest stealth mission in Welsh sheep history.
The Anglesey DefenceWelly holds the entire coast alone — not one raider passed. A legendary one-sheep stand on the Isle of Anglesey.
Cliffside ClashWooled and Baashful counter the Goatherd Brigade's mountain assault. Goats hanging from cliff edges. Sheep victorious.
The Haystacks AmbushLambchop's songs distract the entire Goatherd Brigade — a daring, improbably musical counter-raid.
■ Enemy Forces
The Wolf Pack
ACTIVE THREAT · COMMANDER: FENRIR THE GREY
The wolves who threatened Welsh flocks across the mountains and valleys — and sparked the very formation of the Baarmy Army at the Bleating Dawn. Ferocious, organised, and relentless. The original enemy of the flock.
The Goatherd Brigade
ACTIVE THREAT · GENERAL HORNSWORTH — MONOCLE & BERET
Mountain goats from the rocky cliffs. Quick, tricky, and completely chaotic. Known to chew army maps, steal wool supplies, and ambush supply routes. Chaos on legs. Formidable in their own ridiculous way.
■ Wear the Army
Baarmy Army Clothing & Apparel
The full cast of characters is available as clothing — t-shirts and hoodies featuring each individual soldier, from Woolbert to Welly, Rambo to Baashful. Pick your favourite soldier and fly the flag for them. 100% ring-spun cotton. Double stitched. Handmade in Wales.
Retrosheep also offers Engraving · 3D Printing · Mug Printing · Embroidery · T-Shirt Printing — all handmade and bespoke from Blackwood, South Wales.
Retrosheep also offers Engraving · 3D Printing · Mug Printing · Embroidery · T-Shirt Printing — all handmade and bespoke from Blackwood, South Wales.